Total Medals Earned: 472 (From 81 different games.) Total Medal Score: 6,090 Points
Medals Earned: 9/9 (60/60 points)
Do you always go into things head first?
I think you missed a step in there.
Scorpion would be proud.
Watch where you point that thing.
Watch out for PoolSharks.
What were you doing?
Whoever dropped that quarter made a HUGE mistake.
I need another quarter!
I wish every lifeguard was as good as you!
Medals Earned: 7/8 (135/160 points)
Take a cheap shot after winning the dreidel game
View the ending credits
Save your game
Inspect every kind of plate and then choose wisely
Defeat the Turbo Anti-Korihor 2000 without wearing armor
Beat the game on Gumdrop (no blood) Mode
Beat the game on Blood Mode
Defeat Laban in one slice
Medals Earned: 13/13 (350/350 points)
I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION
Lose against any team
Unlock this medal to learn its secrets!
Medals Earned: 1/6 (50/360 points)
Think of this medal when you press that K button.
10000 clicks.
Prisoner of war turned hero.
Now THAT'S what I call dedication
You wield that keyboard like a pianist.
Medals Earned: 2/11 (20/395 points)
Finished Level 2
Finished Level 1
Finished level 3 and Defeated Boss 1.
Finished Level 7
Finished Level 4
Finished Level 5
Finished Level 6 and Defeated Boss 2.
Finished Level 10 and Defeated Boss 3.
Finished Level 9
Finished Level 8
Completed the game.
Medals Earned: 1/10 (5/360 points)
Pass level 1
Succumb to the clutches of death
Pass level 6
Pass level 9
Pass levels 1-3
Pass any level other than 7 without getting hurt
Pass level 7 without getting hurt
Pass levels 6-9 with a combined time under 20 minutes
Pass levels 1-5 with a combined time under 20 minutes
Pass all levels with a combined time under 19 minutes
Medals Earned: 2/7 (15/290 points)
Complete the first phase.
Complete the second phase.
Complete the third phase.
Complete the final phase.
Fully load your bladder.
Win without taking any damage.
Medals Earned: 4/7 (175/260 points)
Well aren't you a fucking hero?!
Medals Earned: 4/7 (50/300 points)
Recover some strength
Become a full human
Get your legs back
Grow small wings
Become the beast
Complete the game in 15 minutes or less
Restore the fountain's flow
Medals Earned: 2/8 (35/210 points)
Get a delightful history lesson.
Drive a tank in post WWII Italy for the US Army.
Become Fireworks Commissioner of New York City.
Edit an early Philip Roth story for The Paris Review.
Get beaten up badly in a sparring match with Sugar Ray Robinson.
Save the galaxy.